Okay, so you may have noticed I’ve been a bit MIA on our blog. (Well let’s be honest you probably haven’t noticed until I posted this blog post and that is A-OK!) I decided this morning my mantra for as long as I need a mantra will be “Tell the truth and do the next thing.”
Seriously, that’s it. Tell the truth and do the next thing. So simple and yet takes a lot of prayer and encouragement from “my people.”
I’m so so so so so tired of letting anxiety/fear of what others may think/fill-in-the-blank paralyze me from doing those two things. If I can keep it simple I believe with tons of God’s grace and mercy, I can do this life thing. And not just “do life” but have joy in it. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10 emphasis mine.
This summer was pretty awful in my head. From the outside it was fun, the kids had a great time, we made lots of memories together, but the tears from my eyes could have filled a pool. Okay, tell the truth is my mantra, so it would be a kiddie sized pool, but you get the idea.
I knew I shouldn’t go silent on this blog. I knew I shouldn’t isolate myself further. But I also knew I needed to regroup. Let’s be honest, we all appreciate raw honesty but believe it or not I do have a filter I run my words through when I write and it was too messy for me to know where to even start.
So I stopped.
I retreated a bit to find a place to rest and get help. I’m thrilled to say today I am doing much better but it wasn’t by “pulling myself up by my bootstraps” (You can’t find that in the bible anywhere by the way.)
It took seeking wise counsel, unceasing prayer, and my community of family and friends to keep feeding me hope until I could see it for myself.
Listen to good advice if you want to live well,
an honored guest among wise men and women.
An undisciplined, self-willed life is puny;
an obedient, God-willed life is spacious.
Fear-of-God is a school in skilled living—
first you learn humility, then you experience glory. Proverbs 15:31-33
Wise counsel for me means people who will speak Truth from the bible and not give me “quick fix” ideas. This time around it meant a professional counselor as well. I read once finding a counselor is like dating, keep trying until you find the one who clicks for you.
So here I am a few months later continuing to finish the race, shin splints and all, but it took risk. It takes being vulnerable and letting someone else into your pain. Yet, every. single. time. I let down my defenses with someone wise I can feel holy work being accomplished.
There is healing in sharing. I experienced this through GriefShare years ago (so much so I went through it twice!) and I’ve found it to hold true in simple conversations I have with women wherever we are. At first it can be scary to be vulnerable, but our stories were given to us to share. It doesn’t have to be shared with the world, but find one person you trust and try it out . Tell the truth and do the next thing. I’ll be cheering you on if you’ll keep pushing me to do the same.
“And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.” Revelation 12:11
Seeking wise counsel can start right now! Go to www.ifequip.com and sign up to receive daily emails centering this month on imperfect women in the bible, there’s a lot of them! We aren’t alone, lades 🙂