I have resisted writing all week because I know what I have to tell you.
The half marathon is tomorrow and I have to tell you how unconfident I am…how nervous, how crazy this feels to be doing something so out of character (or what I thought my character was!)
Today I go to pick up my packet. What if they laugh at me and ask me who I am there representing because “you are obviously not a runner.”
Okay, I really don’t actually think that would happen, but isn’t it weird where our thoughts can go unchecked?
As I’ve prayed and analyzed why I’m having all these FEELINGS I realize this is probably normal when trying something not only new, but stinking HARD and we’ve been tapering off our training this past week which means I haven’t been with my fellow running friends as often to hear their thoughts and encouragement. We met for a final short run this week early in the morning and it was just what I needed to hear as they told me they have confidence in me and how we have worked hard and we are in this together. Thank God for the way He established community.
People keep calling it a “race,” and good gravy this whole blog is even based on “finishing the race” we are called to run (2 Timothy 4:7) but this is when I remember that this isn’t a competition for me. No matter what happens tomorrow it will be a PR for me. (Y’all, I didn’t even know that PR meant “personal record” until we started training!)
I will have a PR tomorrow, if I just show up. I’m not competing against anyone except myself in this race or the “race” of life. I’m competing against my own fear and desire to shed the box I put myself in that “I’m not a runner.” Coming out of a box can be scary, it seems safe and predictable in the box! What will we experience and have to face when we step out into the light? The unknown is unpredictable which can be frightening, but I am here today to tell you how much God will bless your obedience in taking that small step in courage.
When I signed on to this wild idea Alisha brought to me many months ago I had no idea how much the training would change me. I’ve accomplished things I never thought possible and God has taught me in a concrete way “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:13)
Years ago I never thought I would come out of the fog of grief and despair, more recently I bought into the lie that “this is the way God made me” and I couldn’t be changed, last fall I watched my best friend’s life be destroyed and then put back together stronger than ever while my nephew had a life-threatening heart issue…this race of life has had so many twists and turns that I had to let God be my anchor so that I wouldn’t be tossed into the oblivion.
I cannot control the events of my life just like I cannot control the outcome of the race tomorrow, but I can control how I choose to prepare for the day. I can hydrate, stretch, eat well and sleep.
What choices can you make today that will help prepare you for what you are facing?
This blog is called “finishing” the race because we are all in the process of learning endurance, perseverance, and keeping the faith until the end comes. How are you finishing?
Honestly, most days I have to hand over my mustard seed of faith (Matthew 17:20) to God before I can even roll out of bed and so I tell Him, “Here it is God, I know it is tiny. My willingness to get of bed is miniscule! But you know this already. Here I go. One step. I’m willing to trust you.”
And then I tie my shoes in anticipation of what He will show me.