Quitting.

It’s so flipping easy to just quit.

I’m supposed to run 12 miles Saturday. I could just quit right now though. Be done. Eat donuts and watch reruns of parks and rec instead.

But I can’t. I can’t quit now.

I’ve come so far. God has held my hand through it all. I’m being held accountable by people that love me. I’m being obedient.

And now our 8 year old daughter is excited about running and has signed up for a 5K. Precious. Awesome. More accountability.

But my gosh this is hard.

Okay, I’m not just talking about running miles.

I’m just weary and tired. And I’m frustrated at my humanness.
I know I need to Rest in Jesus. Be prayerful about all decisions and prioritize.

Well you know what? I tried my own plan. I thought avoiding the “world” would help me feel rested. We stayed home all day on a snow day…Didn’t go anywhere and I did minimal housework. (No point while we are all home; it’s true that cleaning with kids around is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.) And after all that “unscheduled” time, I was still exhausted.

So as I think through my day I see that I kept waiting for that quiet “time” when I could finally sit and talk it over with God, but those “quiet sitting” times are rare.

I think God is helping me realize that I have to find rest in Him while the chaos is rampant. No amount of scheduling or attempts to control our day will result in peace.

I just do not have an hour to sit and ponder life with an open journal and fancy pen while sipping hot tea. (Don’t get me wrong, this is a dream of mine that might be a reality someday, but that time is not now. For sure.)

So I am going to bravely seek Him in the middle of the madness, I cannot wait and store up my requests to throw on Him at the end of the day. I’m too tired then and the crisis will have been averted. But He wants to walk with me through the moment! Share it with Him as it’s happening.

I’ve learned over the years to have an ongoing dialogue with Him throughout my day, but I think I’ve been holding back. And I cannot wait until the time is perfect. Because my goodness, that will never happen, and something’s got to give!

But that doesn’t mean it’s time for me to give up.

One day at a time. He promises His provisions will be there tomorrow. I just have to wake up. I’m so grateful many of you are holding my hand for this race. I’m learning perseverance takes practice. One step at a time.

“For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecc 3:1

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19